My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
