Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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