Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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