Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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