420 ftw
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
