I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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