Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
