i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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