So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
