we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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