I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my sisters under your porch take her home
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
