Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he puts the penis in happiness.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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