Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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