I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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