You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
