We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
