Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
