I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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