I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
