How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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