Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
