He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
