1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
