Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize