so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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