We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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