Whod you bang
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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