Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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