someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
