she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
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dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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