Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
