totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
