It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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