You smell like a Billy Joel song
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
