make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
