I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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