yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
