So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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