My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
areolas are like halos for boobs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
