We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
