Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
