And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
