I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
