apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
