i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Panties = found
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
