you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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