I will die if light touches me.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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