i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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