Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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