ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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