I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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