Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize