We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
