I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
