i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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