Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
