so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
