Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize